Let the pregnancy surveys begin! :)

How far along: 12 weeks!! I feel like this is a big milestone! Wahoo!

Size of baby: A plum :)

Total weight gain/loss: 3-4 lbs so far. It feels like a lot more though...I am really starting to tell a difference with this little bump and how my clothes fit. 

Maternity clothes: Not yet, but I bet it won't be long. I've been wearing dresses on warmer days and lots of leggings and boots. I'm hoping I can get away with that for a few more weeks. 

Gender: We should find out around Thanksgiving...I can't WAIT. 

Movement: I wish! 

Sleep: Pretty good. I pretty much pass out like a zombie every night but then wake up super early, which is unlike me. When I say super early I mean like 8am, haha. I haven't really had to pee much so I don't wake up during the night to pee, maybe once if anything. Sleep overall has been amazing and I can't get enough of it. 

What I miss: Deli meat. I know that sounds lame, but I do, like whoa. I miss Jersey Mike's and Jimmy Johns the most. I have found a few places here in Raleigh that have "pregnancy approved deli meat" and heat it up for the approved 20 seconds or whatever and then run the sandwich through the oven. I also miss my energy, and not feeling nauseous all the time. I think it's getting better though. Eating definitely helps so I've been eating more than usual to help kill the pukey feeling. I also have zofran prescribed to me and that helps a lot, although I try not to take it unless I absolutely have to. 

Cravings: Not much of anything really. Not sure if I "crave" bananas but I eat them all the time. Drink a lot of orange juice, too...I just got the calcium fortified kind to make sure I'm getting enough calcium too. My dr is real big on calcium intake. I've had more food aversions than anything...especially to mexican food! 

Best moment this past week: Hearing our sweet babies heart beat! It was an awesome sound and still so hard to believe Austin and I have created a new life! I've listened to it maaaaybe 10 times...a day. :) 

Symptoms: Ohhh I've got a list. My number one symptom is burping, followed by nausea, fatigue, headaches, constipation and just general lack of energy. Overall things have been ok but I am excited to start feeling better soon. I have been pretty emotional too...I can cry at a drop of a hat at just about anything. Molly was chewing one of my fall decorations and when I found it I burst into tears! I had a doctor yell at me at work, made me cry, seeing anybody else cry, makes me cry, hearing sad songs on the radio, makes me cry...you get the picture. Ready to get these emotions in check for sure! 

What I'm looking forward to: finding out the sex!! and getting out of the first trimester! also, ordering our crib! PBK has a $100 sale on the crib we want and it only goes a few more weeks so I think we are going to go ahead and purchase that bad boy. 

Milestones: ??? not really sure we've had any of those yet. still praying for a healthy baby growing inside me! 

Mood: excited, emotional, and tired

Labor Signs: negative! 

Wedding rings on or off: on 

Sweet hubby is making me a chalkboard so I can take weekly pics...but for now...this is what you get. Definitely got a bump going on at 12 weeks! Yikes! 

Baby Green Bean!!

So let's play a little catch up with baby Green bean! We found out we were expecting the day before our anniversary, August 20th...crazy we've known about this little bean for a month and a half now! I called the OB later that afternoon to let them know I had a positive pregnancy test and they told me I was about 5 weeks and that they would set up my first appointment for September 4th. That was a long two weeks!! In the meantime...we waited, and waited. And I analyzed everything my body was doing, of course. 


My dad was here visiting when we found out we were preg so we told him that night. I called my mom later that night and told her I needed her to look at something on the computer with me and then e-mailed her pictures of the positive tests...so I was on the phone with her when she opened the e-mail...and she screamed, and cried, and laughed and asked "is this for real???" one hundred times. It was an awesome moment. :) 

A few days later I told my two very best friends, just because I had to tell someone, and had to ask 283487 questions about what was going on and was this ok to eat and was this ok to feel, etc etc. 

Labor day weekend we went to the lake and told Austin's parents, and then had our first appointment the next day and called his grandmother, brother and sister, and my aunt and grandmother, too. That was a fun day with lots of happy tears! 

Sept 4th...went to the OB, super nervous and anxious, and they confirmed I was pregnant through urine and blood tests. Tried to do a vaginal ultrasound but said it was still pretty early so we weren't able to really see anything. I think the baby was about the size of a poppy seed then!

Sept 18th...went back for another ultrasound and we saw our little bean for the first time. Everything looked great and we (I) felt a lot more confident that I was really pregnant and that this was really happening. Austin never really doubted it...haha. 

Sweet babies first picture:

September 28th...we announced we were pregnant on Facebook and ready for the whole world to know our little secret. :) 

October 4th...the best appointment yet because we got to hear our sweet babies heart beat! We went over tons of info, family history, insurance stuff, talked about delivery and they did a physical on me. Then we got to see our sweet baby again and he/she really looks like a baby now! We saw both arms and legs and saw him kicking me! It's crazy how active he/she is and I can't feel any of it. Our OB used a doppler and we were able to hear the heartbeat too. That was music to my ears. :) And we could HEAR him kicking! Sounded just like a whip! Ouch baby!! We also saw him/her sucking his thumb...omg so cute! 

Big difference for 2 weeks, huh? 

We go back again in 4 weeks, October 30th. We will go every 4 weeks until I'm 28 weeks, and then start going every 2 weeks. So not at this next appt (October 30th) but the next one, we will find out the sex! That should be the last week of November, but I'm going to ask if we can do it the week before (week of Thanksgiving) so we can tell all our family in Alabama when we go for Thanksgiving.

I've been feeling pretty crummy and very excited to be out of the first trimester. Next week is week 12 so I'm almost there! I've been SO tired, absolutely exhausted, and nauseous from mid-day to evening almost every day. I've thrown up a hand full of times and the worst was last week when I had to have Aus pull over on the side of the road so I could puke. Ugh. Besides that my biggest symptom has been burping! UGH! So gross. I've had a few headaches here and there and one day of really bad cramping. I haven't had to pee a lot so I'm still waiting for that to happen. As for cravings and food aversions, I don't really crave much. There was about a week where I craved orange juice (simple orange with pineapple, specifically) and milk. I also craved tomatoes, but not so much anymore. I've had a huge food aversion to mexican food, which is so sad!  The thought of going into a mexican restaurant...omg gag city! No thank you! I'm hoping that passes soon because it typically is one of my favorite meals. 

I plan on doing the weekly pregnancy surveys starting on Monday, when I'm 12 weeks. Yay for starting those! :)

And for those wondering, Austin is doing awesome. Like, the best he has felt in probably a year. It's the best feeling in the world...seeing him happy and healthy and feeling GOOD. We are so, so very blessed. He has been the sweetest husband to me and I love him for it! This baby is truly the rainbow after our summer storm. God bless our sweet family! 

  xoxoxo,

Just in case you didn't see on FB...

YAY! And unforunately, this is an every day scene at the Green house right now. Hoping it gets better in the next week or so! 

speaking of SURPRISES...

This time...a super fun surprise coming from this blog!!! I'M PREGNANT!!! Well, I guess WE are pregnant, but technically I'm the one carrying the baby, if you had any question. :) 

We found out the day before our anniversary, August 20th. I was a few days late but seriously thought there was no way I could be pregnant. Who knows why, we had  been trying for months, but for some reason this month I thought there was no way. (go figure, right? doesn't it always happen like that?) Anyway, Austin told me to pick up a test and we would take it when he came home on his lunch break. So I did, and we did, aaaand it was positive! Or so we thought, haha. The lines were kind of questionable and we literally stared at it for 5 minutes saying "is it? or is it not?" After that confusion Austin told me to go to the store and get a test that said YES or NO, the fancy digital kind. So I did that, took the tests to his work and snuck into the bathroom, and then back into his office with the two new tests in hand. A few longggg seconds later...YES. This one left no room for question! 

He grabbed my iPhone and started taking pics and I didn't even know it...but I am so glad he did!

Think I needed a little reassurance? haha. Looking back on that "questionable" test, there was clearly a plus sign there. (the very bottom blue test)

I will be back to write more with details on how the past 6 weeks have gone...but for now, yayyyy!!! 

A little Surprise party!!!

We successfully pulled off a surprise party for Austin a few Saturdays ago to celebrate "no mo chemo!" Austin finished his chemo and radiation treatments on the 12th and then Saturday the 15th all of our family and close friends got together for a little afternoon party. It was so much fun and I loved having everyone together. Through this whole summer Austin has said to me countless times how he just wanted to be with his family or just wished he could go to Danville to see his friends. Welp! That is what he wanted and that is what he got. His best guy friends all came down and all of his immediate family was able to come to town. It was perfect and I really didn't want the day to end!

I tried to coordinate all of Austin's favorite foods for the party. I asked him about a week before, "what would you say your very favorite food is?" and he responded with, "hmm. sushi. or tuna. or really just any good fish." Yeaaaaa. Awesome. Those things were definitley not on my party food list. Then he said "well, Chick-fil-A nuggets, too." haha, think he was on to me?

I seriously have the best girlfriends in the world. No way I could of gotten through these past 4 months without these girls. Literally, daily texts and phone calls were the normal...and I can never thank them enough. <3

Sure do love my little niece Caroline!!

Thank you so much to everyone for helping with this! It was a huge group effort and it all came together so well! I just loved it!!!! :)

The plan for now is to follow Austin with frequent CT scans which will get further and further apart as time goes on. His first scan is scheduled for October 16th and we should have results that afternoon as we meet with his doctors a few hours after the scans. I feel 100% confident that we will have great news but I can't wait to hear it. A tumor-free scan...ahhh, music to my ears!

Keep calm...and fight on! (although I'm hoping our fight is finished for now, and frankly, forever.) I love you to the moon and back Austin! 

2 years!

A few weeks ago, but still...Austin and I celebrated 2 years of marriage August 21st! We had a great day together (one that I would not have foreshadowed that started out with chemo and radiation treatment, but thats ok!) and enjoyed every minute. I thought Austin was going to be at work so I came up with this fun little idea to have him open a small present from me every hour while he was at work. He ended up not feeling well so he stayed at home, maaaaybe because he wasn't feeling well and maaaaybe because he just wanted to spend the whole day with me. ;) Which was ok too because I got to watch him open all his presents! We took it easy and hung out on the couch most of the day. We ended our day at this new italian restaurant that just opened a few miles from our house. It was a super chill and relaxing day that we both needed. 

Opened them the second minute of the hour because it was our second anniversary. 

Cards from a few of our friends/family.

Before dinner...looking a little rough! 

Looooove this necklace Aus got me. Picked it out all on his own...I was impressed!! :) 

Cheers to many many more...I love you, Aus!

Finally another Friday!

 

So happy another Friday is here and another week of treatment is finished! Only 7 more treatment days left. 4 next week (they are closed on Labor day) and then 3 days the following week. We can do this!! Aus is such a trooper, but this week hasn't really been amazing. I think it's all just catching up to him, physically and mentally. It feels good to see that the end is so close in sight. I really have sympathy for all the people we see here...some in such bad shape. It makes me feel blessed about the situation that we are in. That this is only 5 weeks and that it is, for the most part, just to prevent a re-occurrence. For all we know Austin is completely cancer free right now, and that I have to believe. We aren't here doing chemo/radiation fighting for life like some of these poor souls are. I think it's hard to come here and see these people too. The sweet old men really get me.

About my post last week...thanks to everyone who called/texted to check in, I really appreciate it. I wasn't trying to say I didn't want to be contacted by anyone I just didn't want anyone to freak out and think I was having some major break down over here. I do have my fair share of break downs about this whole thing but I think that's pretty normal. We are making it and I, just like Aus, have good days and bad days. We have had quite the summer and I think it's all just hitting me. It blows my mind the path our life took. But all in God's wonderful plan I do know that. I am in good spirits this morning and ready for the weekend and some major R&R with Aus. And we have a 3 day weekend (with no work or treatment!) so that is music to our ears. 

We are headed to the lake this evening and will come back on Sunday. We have a few meetings with Windy Peak brides on Monday that we can't miss so Sunday evening it will have to be.

Also, my dad officially got a job offer at Wake Med and he starts mid September. I am so excited to have him close! He will be moving up here in the next week or so. 

 
Wishing everyone a fun Labor day weekend and hoping you spend it with the people you love!

Cancer...fuck you.

I hate you, cancer. I am so sick of you in our life. I am sick of watching my husband struggle to get through the day. I am so sick of watching him play strong. I am sick of talking about you. I am sick of people asking about you. I am sick of your facebook groups and all that people have to say about you. I am sick of all the pain you bring to so many lives. I am sick of the pain you bring to me and my husbands lives. I am sick of your ribbons and trinkets. I am sick of everything that makes me think of you, stupid cancer.

I want my life back. I want my husbands life back. My sweet little happy life that I love so much. I want to stop thinking about you, stop being consumed by you. Just go away.

Sorry I am not "embracing" my husbands cancer like I'm suppose to. Today I am angry, today I am venting. Today I want you the fuck out of our lives.

And please, I don't need anybody calling me to check in and make sure I am ok. I am fine, as fine as I can be dealing with my 28 year old husband battling cancer. I am just sick of this and in desperate need of a break, a break for Austin.

I will put the happy face back on tomorrow. But for right now, nothing says it better than...FUCK YOU, cancer.

Trucking on...and our weekend plans

Soooo happy Friday is here again! This has been a really good week for Aus. He is now 8 treatments down and has 17 to go. We are getting there!! His side effects have been really minimal this week so that has been great. The only thing new was this metallic taste he was having (which has gotten better) but he said his mouth tasted like he had been sucking on a penny! Yuck! And now it's Friday and he has a two day break. I am really thankful his body is handling the chemo so well, because if it didn't, (which is common for a lot of people) then they would either decrease the dose or eventually have to stop it all together. Studies have shown that radiation is most effective when combined with certain chemo drugs so I am thankful his body is allowing him to take the chemo which puts him in the best possible situation for this to be effective. Another gift from God, as this could be so much worse.

We have a little Save-the-Date shoot at the beach this weekend so we are headed south tomorrow morning. We are going to Atlantic Beach (a first for me!) and I am exited to check it out. We are staying Saturday night and then plan on hanging by the water Sunday and driving home. I do feel blessed that our job gives us so many opportunities to go to the beach. We missed both of our family beach trips this summer so at least we are making it up a day here and there on the weekends. I think it is very therapeutic for us both! 

Our anniversary is on Tuesday and tomorrow (the 18th) is the 3 year anniversary of when we got engaged. We figured we would celebrate all of that at the beach this weekend too. After all, we got engaged on the beach so that will be fun...what an awesome day/night that was! 

Aus is about to finish treatment now and we are headed back home to go to work. My job has been soooo amazing with me and allows me to come with Aus most mornings. Today I will get to work about 9am and work until 7pm, so I am very thankful for the flexibility and being able to be with Aus on these not-so-fun mornings.  

Going down memory lane this morning...hard to believe this was 3 years ago!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

TGIF!!!

We are back at the cancer center bright and early this morning. I am so thankful I am able to be here with Austin again today. Today is his 3rd treatment day and all is well with the radiation. The chemo, ehhh, not great, but not awful either. He has been having a few side effects but we are learning the best way to deal with those. I think eating a lot of food when he takes the pills definitely helps!

We are sooo glad it is Friday! Aus has a two day break and that is going to be so nice. Of the 5 and a half weeks he has to go through radiation week half is complete! Only 25 more zaps to go. It will go by fast, I know it will.

We have Abi this weekend and plan on relaxing and having lots of fun. We are thinking we will go to Emerald Point on Saturday for a super fun day of wave pools, lazy rivers and water slides! Austin will have to wear a shirt because he can't get much sun exposure but other than that he will be just fine. We are realllllly excited about it!! Right now we are definitely living for the weekends! Hope everyone else has a great weekend!!

Here we go!

Day One: I'm sitting here in the Cancer Center while Aus is back for his treatment. Today (8/8) is his first day of radiation and chemo. He took his chemo meds this morning and so far so good. He will take the chemo twice a day on days of radiation (Mon-Fri) for 5 and a half weeks. I'm hoping these weeks go by fast so we can put it behind us. We are both a little anxiuos about the side effects but I really do think he is going to be just fine. His body really is stuper strong and can handle a lot (hellllllo 5 lb tumor!) so I almost bet this radiation doesn't even phase him. I do worry about how tired he will be...from the radiation but also the fact that he has such long days, waking up at 6:00am to take his meds and get here by 7:00 for treatment. He doesn't want to miss any work so they were able to schedule his treatments before work with hopes that he could get to the office by 8:00. I am praying that he handles the radiation well and is able to drive himself here on days I am working. I will come with him as much as I can but on days I work he will have to come alone. :( I wish so bad I could come with him everyday, just so he didn't have to be alone, but he reassures me he is just fine. He is much braver than I am!

I will be back to update as he gets further into treatment. Please pray that he has minimal side effects and tolerates these next 5 and a half weeks just fine.


This is where all the magic happens! So thankful for this place. And double thankful that it's only 10 miles from our house. We are blessed beyond words.

!!!!!!!!! AUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quick update on Austin: we got the results back from the biopsy (of the suspicious lymph node) yesterday and they were NEGATIVE aka NO MALIGNANCY aka NO CANCER! Holy moly excited! I can't even put it into words...I felt like my body released something...some sort of shell or something. You know you hear people talk about "it feels like a ton of bricks were lifted off my shoulders" but I swear, for real, something released out of my body. And it was amazing! For some reason it was an even crazier feeling than when the surgeon told us they were able to remove the tumor. It was the strongest, most powerful feeling thus far. Well, a close second would be when Aus left work to come home to tell me that they were going to operate. THAT was an incredible feeling, too. Anyway, my friend (also one of Austin's surgeons) at work actually texted me about 1:00 yesterday, "you saw the path report I'm guessing?" I replied..."umm, no!" "OMG, no" "what, what, what!" and then he told me. It was an amazing moment. Aus had just left the house headed back to work from his lunch break so I was sitting by myself and I just wept and wept and prayed and prayed and thanked the good Lord. I was so so happy, and they were finally happy, happy tears.